On Noses & Neighbours

October 5, 2015

Dear Aunty,

I’m not sure how to unexpectedly sneeze in public politely, any thoughts? Is this why Tokyo residents walk around wearing masks? I mean say I’m on public transport and I cover my mouth and nose with my hand when I sneeze and then I hang onto the pole or the strap for the rest of my trip.  This doesn’t seem like a good way to contain a sneeze.  What do you suggest if one is ill and still needs to use public transport?

— N. Fected

Dear N. Fected,

There’s a terribly old fashioned device called a Hanky – get some. Take two with you and keep one in each pocket. You can also drop some eucalyptus oil on it and it will soothe you on your journey. If you are contagious it’s best not to go to work anyway. Olive Leaf is ace for keeping the colds away. Hope that helps.

Health and happiness to you and hope you feel better soon.

— Aunty Cowbelle xx

Dear Aunty,

I live at the back end of a long line of adjoining units. My next door neighbour is an ancient little old biddy who has been here since time immemorial. Her neighbours on the other side are two very nice gay ladies. However the old lady is crazy and hates the nice gay ladies. She thinks the ladies are doing bad things to her all the time so she yells at them at the top of her voice, even when they’re not there. I am convinced she has paranoid schizophrenia. Every time her microscopic lap-dog starts yapping it sets her off. Should I talk to the nice gay ladies about this? It would be nice if they knew they had my support. I want to help but I don’t want to get enmeshed.

Peace,
— Quandary Pickle

Dear Quandary Pickle,

Hmmmm tricky… It would be nice to support the nice gay ladies, perhaps you could explain to them that she is a bit cray cray and not to take it personal like, without getting yourself too enmeshed. I wouldn’t make a visit especially to talk to them about it, it will seem too important. But if you see them in the drive or wherever… just do it gently, you don’t want to come across as the nosy neighbour.

— Love and Light, Aunty Cowbelle xx

 

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One Comment

  1. Dragan Korichnevyy

    October 5, 2015 at 1:53 pm

    All about the elbow, yo.

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